We’ve previously discussed the idea that every man should strive to be a romantic paramour, and how the date is one of a manвЂ™s best instruments for wooing a lady. A manвЂ™s other major implement in the romance department is the love letter. As long as love (and writing utensils) has existed, so has the love letter. It has been the go-to way for millions of boys across history to confess or reiterate their feelings of love for another.
Slew of women, of course, have and will proceed to write love letters. But as the hook-up that has historically been the вЂњpursuerвЂќ in the relationship and often has trouble vocally voicing their feelings, writing love letters has traditionally been the purview of guys.
ItвЂ™s not always effortless to express our feelings to our significant others. WeвЂ™d rather showcase our love through deeds. We feel that our love for someone is manifestly visible, because after all, donвЂ™t we vacuum the house, and mow the lawn, and make them their dearest pancakes every Sunday morning? Our deeds display that weвЂ™re faithful and true, and to us it feels like this should be enough.
But itвЂ™s not fairly that way for a woman. Women undoubtedly appreciate our acts of love, but their brains are also fairly a bit more language oriented than ours. They want to hear the words behind the deeds. They want to know exactly whatвЂ™s in our hearts.
But itвЂ™s hard to not only find the right words to express how we feel about someone, but to also make it flow and sound real purty. ItвЂ™s especially difficult when youвЂ™re sitting down with someone and attempting to reminisce exactly what you wished to say. Inject the love letter.
Writing a fantastically romantic love letter can be a challenge, but thatвЂ™s what you signed up for with this 30 Days project. So letвЂ™s get embarked.
Why Write a Love Letter
Love letters were certainly more popular in the past when soldiers were off fighting the Big One and dudes left on trips that took them away from their love for months or even years at a time. With the rise of modern means of communication, love letters, and letters generally, have fallen into disfavor.
But as we talked about in our letter writing post. letters have special properties that no modern form of communication can duplicate. A handwritten letter isВ something tangible that we touch and hold and then pass to another to touch and hold. And they are preserved and cherished in a way that text messages or email never will be.
The love letters you give your wifey or gf are testaments in the history of your love. They constitute a record of your relationship that sheвЂ™ll hold onto for the rest of her life (unless of course you break her heart and then the letters will give her the satisfaction of having something to burn or line the bird cell with).
Your love doesnвЂ™t have to be far away for you to write a letter to her. A love letter is adequate even when youвЂ™re sleeping alongside your special someone every night. ItвЂ™s a chance to express your feelings in a more ardent way than you do on a day-to-day basis.
A woman cannot hear too many times thatвЂ™s she beautiful and that you love her. TheyвЂ™ll never get sick of it. They want to know that you still feel the same way as you did when you very first met, heck, the same way you felt last Monday. When high-profile cases of infidelity are so often in the news, a lady can be forgiven for wanting regular reassurance thatВ she’s still the only one for you.
How to Write a Love Letter
If youвЂ™re particularly in touch with your feelings and a superb writer, then love letters may come lightly to you. In that case, just sit down with pen and paper and let it rip. If youвЂ™re someone who has problems formulating a romantic love letter, we suggest the following tips to guide the process.
1. Embark off by stating the purpose of your letter. You want your love to know right away that this is a love letter and not a note to give her the brush off or to voice some kind of dissatisfaction with the relationship. Begin with something like, вЂњI was thinking today about how very much I love you, and how I indeed donвЂ™t tell you that enough. So I wished to sit down and let you know how truly in love with you I truly am.вЂќ
Two. Recall a romantic memory. WhatвЂ™s special about couplehood is that the two of you have a collective history, a history that is unique to you and your love. Thus the best way to commence a love letter is to refer to a collective memory; this conjures up feelings of your history together and scores you points for remembering details of your past. For example, begin by telling, вЂњI still reminisce clearly the moment when you walked into RobвЂ™s party, wearing that stunning crimson dress. You were smiling ear-to-ear and absolutely lit up the room. I knew instantly that I had to meet you. I went to the bathroom to attempt to summon up my courage and think of what to say. But it was no use; I was totally tongue tied when I approached you. I was smitten from the very begin.вЂќ
Trio. Now transition to a section about the things you love about her. Stir from your memory to the present with a line like, вЂњAnd here we are more than a decade later, and you still leave me feeble in the knees.вЂќ
Four. Tell her all the things you love about her. Before you write this section, make a list on a separate sheet of paper of all the things you that you love about your significant other. Think about her physical characteristics, her personality, her character, and all the wonderful things she does for you. Then, turn the things you listed into sentences. вЂњI truly think you are the most beautiful women in the world. I love the feeling of your gams intertwined with mine and the smell of your hair and skin. Your smile lifts my spirits on even my worst days. I love your laugh and your capability to find humor in every situation. IвЂ™m so grateful for everything you do for me, from your delicious dinners to your magnificent backrubs.вЂќ
Five. Tell her how your life has switched since meeting her. вЂњYou truly finish me. These last few years have been the happiest of my life. I canвЂ™t tell you how fortunate I feel to always have my best friend by my side.вЂќ
6. Reaffirm your love and commitment. вЂњI will always love you, no matter what happens, through thick and lean. I will be absolutely true and faithful to you forever.вЂќ
7. End with a line that sums up your love. вЂњI canвЂ™t wait to grow old with you.вЂќ вЂњMy love for you will never end.вЂќ вЂњYou are my best friend and soul mate and I will love you until the end of our lives.вЂќ
ItвЂ™s okay to err on the side of cheesiness. The most significant rule is to be downright authentic. Write only those things that you truly feel. This will prevent the letter from seeming over the top or incongruous with your personality and relationship.
If you need some inspiration before you embark writing, read this letter and see this movie that we originally posted in our article about вЂњHow to Write a Love Letter Like a Soldier.» The letter was written in 1861 by Sullivan Ballou to his wifey Sarah, a week before the Battle of Bull Run. The clip gives a shortened verison of the letter which appeared in Ken BurnвЂ™s Civil War documentary. It is set to the achingly beautiful вЂњAshokan Farewell» and certainly worth a listen.
July the 14th, 1861
My very dear Sarah:
The indications are very strong that we shall stir in a few days-perhaps tomorrow. Lest I should not be able to write you again, I feel impelled to write lines that may fall under your eye when I shall be no more.
Our movement may be one of a few days duration and total of pleasure-and it may be one of severe conflict and death to me. Not my will, but thine O God, be done. If it is necessary that I should fall on the battlefield for my country, I am ready. I have no misgivings about, or lack of confidence in, the cause in which I am engaged, and my courage does not halt or falter. I know how strongly American Civilization now leans upon the triumph of the Government, and how fine a debt we owe to those who went before us through the blood and suffering of the Revolution. And I am willing-perfectly willing-to lay down all my joys in this life, to help maintain this Government, and to pay that debt.
But, my dear wifey, when I know that with my own joys I lay down almost all of yours, and substitute them in this life with cares and sorrows-when, after having eaten for long years the bitter fruit of orphanage myself, I must suggest it as their only sustenance to my dear little children-is it powerless or dishonorable, while the banner of my purpose floats calmly and pridefully in the breeze, that my unbounded love for you, my darling wifey and children, should fight in fierce, tho’ worthless, contest with my love of country?
I cannot describe to you my feelings on this peaceful summer night, when two thousand fellows are sleeping around me, many of them loving the last, perhaps, before that of death-and I, suspicious that Death is creeping behind me with his fatal dart, am communing with God, my country, and thee.
I have sought most closely and diligently, and often in my breast, for a wrong motive in thus hazarding the happiness of those I loved and I could not find one. A unspoiled love of my country and of the principles have often advocated before the people and вЂњthe name of honor that I love more than I fear deathвЂќ have called upon me, and I have obeyed.
Sarah, my love for you is deathless, it seems to tie me to you with mighty cables that nothing but Omnipotence could break; and yet my love of Country comes over me like a strong wind and bears me irresistibly on with all these chains to the battlefield.
The memories of the blissful moments I have spent with you come creeping over me, and I feel most gratified to God and to you that I have loved them so long. And hard it is for me to give them up and burn to ashes the hopes of future years, when God willing, we might still have lived and loved together and seen our sons grow up to honorable manhood around us. I have, I know, but few and petite claims upon Divine Providence, but something murmurs to me-perhaps it is the wafted prayer of my little Edgar-that I shall come back to my loved ones unharmed. If I do not, my dear Sarah, never leave behind how much I love you, and when my last breath escapes me on the battlefield, it will whisper your name.
Forgive my many faults, and the many aches I have caused you. How thoughtless and foolish I have often been! How gladly would I wash out with my tears every little spot upon your happiness, and fight with all the misfortune of this world, to shield you and my children from harm. But I cannot. I must see you from the spirit land and hover near you, while you buffet the storms with your precious little freight, and wait with sad patience till we meet to part no more.
But, O Sarah! If the dead can come back to this earth and flit unseen around those they loved, I shall always be near you; in the garish day and in the darkest night-amidst your happiest scenes and gloomiest hours-always, always; and if there be a soft breeze upon your cheek, it shall be my breath; or the cool air fans your pulsing temple, it shall be my spirit passing by.
Sarah, do not mourn me dead; think I am gone and wait for thee, for we shall meet again.
As for my little boys, they will grow as I have done, and never know a fatherвЂ™s love and care. Little Willie is too youthfull to reminisce me long, and my blue-eyed Edgar will keep my frolics with him among the dimmest memories of his childhood. Sarah, I have unlimited confidence in your maternal care and your development of their characters. Tell my two mothers his and hers I call GodвЂ™s bliss upon them. O Sarah, I wait for you there! Come to me, and lead thither my children.
Hopefully, you are now fully inspired to write your lady a romantic love letter. One need not wait until they are nigh unto death to make their feelings known. Each day could be your last; tell her how you feel right now.
And if you are single, write a love poem to hone your romantic writing abilities.
Whatever you do, report back to the Community that you finished the task and how your love reacted to the letter.
Last updated: February 13, 2016